Colors pt.1

So, I've been having a lot of conversation lately on skin color.  It's amazing to me that we as a society is still so color struck and at the same token it's hurtful.  I mean all women are beautiful, and it's amazing how God has made us all diverse however black women have been torn and divided. We've been fashioned to believe the darker you are the less attractive and accepted you are in society.  And unless you have visible signs of mixture then clearly your family is straight from the zulu nation.  It's been said by even a famous artist who shall remain nameless that "the lighter a woman's skin is the easier she is to deal with."  Why are we hated on so much?  Why do we continue to be emotionally abused by the same men we give birth to? 
I'm tired of comments like, "You're pretty for a dark skin chick" or "Do you see her she black and ugly?"  Seriously was it necessary to comment on her skin tone, could she not just be ugly.  Or my favorite from the islands. She is ugly but at least she is red (meaning light skin).  Like that is the icing on bad cake.  If you got one eye and half, half a head of hair, and summer teeth (some hair and some there) ain't no amount of light skinnedness gon' fix that.  Even my own mother whom i love dearly says some off the wall stuff.  And in turn tells me I'm beautiful.  I am really supposed to believe that.  You just had an out of pockets comment about that person's skin tone and I'm supposed to believe you when you say I am beautiful!  Then they wonder why we have complexes.

It was Buju Banton who said it best when he said:
"Mi nuh Stop cry, fi all black women, respect all the girls dem with dark complexion

Tupac:
They say the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice, the darker the skin then the deeper the roots.

We been conditioned to believe that beauty only comes in certain forms. Like having natural hair is a curse.  I swear if one more man asks me to perm or straigten my hair i will lay him out on the floor.  I love my locs.  I think they compliment me more than when i had a perm or even longer hair.  I am actually way more confidnet with my hair this way then when it was processed cause i cant hide behind it.  It is what it is.  Embrace it. We want so bad to be exotic we will got to the extremes to please those looking in from the outside all the while killing ourselves on the inside.  I have nothing against weaves, perms, contacts, etc. but are you doing this for you or are you doing it so everyone else thinks your beautful?  What do you see when you look in the mirror and you strip all the maybeline away?  Cause no matter how much junk and gunk you put on people will see straight through you and label your insecurities. 

And then it gets worse when you try to explain to people those of us that are really dark including myself........I'm not denying I'm black and I'm the first to admit that I am black but the truth of the matter is my family is extremely mulitracial.  They look at you like you just cussed they momma and that your trying to deny stuff, expecially those of us who are west indian.  Aint not near one of us that ain't mixed.  LOL!

My bestie, has chinese and japanese in her family and it's very visible in her features...but she is medium brown and her sis is light skin, the two could be darn near identical but put the two together and best believe society will accept her sis more.  Another homegirl of mine is a brilliant attorney.........she more indian than anything but when people look at her skin they see black girl that got lucky with the good hair.........another homie of mine she is hatian and middle eastern (people stay accusing her of denying her "blackness")...........me, my grandma is half jewish portuguese (yes jewish with the curls, the hat and all) and panamanian(dark panamanian), Both my grandfathers are half indian and half black, and my other grandmother (spanish, black, and indian).  Do i look like i have time to check off every box on an application?  NO!  But we as black woman are so dynamic and we have to embrace it.

My cousin broke my heart the other day cause she was in love with an indian guy from our hometown and becuase she was black and i believe partially insecure he did not follow through with a relationship with her, and ended up sticking to an indian girl to please his family.  She was heart broken and blamed herself for being black.  She tried so hard to fit into the culture she cant embrace her ownself.  I had to explain to her that it's not her fault and that he was not man enough to stand up for you or himself therefore he was not the one.  But first you also have to love and accept yourself color and all before anyone else can. 

At one point in time because of my upbringing i believed that if a light skinned black man, or a man from any other race was attracted to me other than a dark skinned man then I've come up.  It's the ultimate compliment.  Now I know that's bolony.  I've been accused of being color struck because the majority of the  men I've dated are on the lighter side but that is not by preference that is becuase that is who mostly approaches me.  I get more compliments from light skinned men than dark brothers.  It's amazing.....so why am i the one that is color struck.  I'm not hunting them down and then when i meet a guy you thinks my skin tone is beautiful and my hair is gorgeous, i'm speechless, i wonder what's his angle, is he genuine? sincere?  am I being compared to all the reallly dark skin women in videos who are exploited for their bodies?  then I smack myself and say get over it Asha.  Embrace what you've got cause even if you find out they are full of it your still fabulous!

I know dozens of lectures have been given on this but it is really time we "WAKE UP!"  It was said best in my favorite movie spike lee's school daze.  "WAKE UP!"  We need to stop tearing each other down and be mindful that you are perpetuating a cycle of three hundred years or more of hurt.  All black men no matter what shade needs to start seeing the beauty of all shades of black women and all different hair types.  Stop getting caught up in the hype because at the end of the day a lot of us look for the validation of our beauty through you (however backwards that may be) and if you our own kind whom we give birth to dont find us beautiful, goregeous, breath taking and exotic how are we supposed to continue proving it to everyone else.  We can do it and we do it daily, but its not easy in the entertainment world or business world.  We need your support, not to exploit us and our bodies but really lift us up and hold us on a pedal stool.  And we as black women need to do it for each other.  Dont be afraid to pay another woman a compliment.  We aren't all ghetto, head snappin', six colors in our hair having, skimpy clothes wearing, gold teeth having, fake nails six inches long, black and miles smokin kinds.  We have education, aspiration, goals, and can hold down a great conversation that does not include the word bootyliscious and babyphat.  Get to know us!

Until next time......All sistas keep your head up!