Friday, June 18, 2010

He's Just Not That Into You!

So for the past couple of days I've been watching, "He's just not that into you", courtesy of the fact that my boyfriend cant seem to watch it in one sitting on we're on the 17th view.  Needless to say, I know it by heart. Okay, so this movie is farely old by now and I definitely read the book long before the movie came out.  By the way the book was hilarious to me.  It's all about signs of how you know a guy is interested and whether or not you should waste your time. 

Now, again, I can only relate to an extent.  Like for instance GieGie, she was like borderline psychotic crazy trying to figure out the signs of whether or not a guy liked her.  She really needed to just take it easy and chill. Now I will admit some of these guys were vague and were trying to be nice.  But I believe you can be nice and honest.  Why is that so friggin' hard.  If your not interested just say hey, I had an awesome time tonight but I'm not interested.  Women can handle that a lot better than men think.  Even if they have that desperate look in their eyes, it's better to cut the crap cause then you end up with a confused girl who is cyber stalking you. NOTE: I've never been in that situation.  I don't recall whining and pining over when a guy would call.  If he didnt call I just moved on with my life.  But still you cant blame her in a sence if your telling me one thing and your really mean another.

Now Jennifer Anniston's character was dating the same guy for seven years and she wanted to get married and he didnt believe in marraige.  This is where the boyfriend and I somewhat disagree.  He claims that you cant force a guy into marraige.  I dont think you should have to force anyone into marraige but I do think you should state what it is you want from a relationship to begin with.  I've had this discussion in groups and countless times before.  YOU SHOULDNT START A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT WANT THE SAME THINGS AS YOU!  There's no need for ultimatums or threats of your leaving if they dont marry you.  Just be careful and guard your heart. If you want children and you know it's not a feeling that would go away then dont get emotionally invested in a relationship with someone who doesnt want children.  You'll only be longing for something that will make you unhappy.

I can say this for sure because I've been there.  I've always wanted to be with someone who felt reading the word, going to church, fasting, praying was as important as breathing.  In my last relationship it was one of our many issues.  I spent the better part of our years together trying to convince him that fellowship was important.  Trying to get him to attend service with me, do a bible study with me.  It was taxing and trying and stressful and in the end he was never going to change his mind.  I loved him but I was never happy in that aspect.  It was important to me and something I was not willing to bend on.  I know in relationships there is compromise and even sacrafice but everyone has their deal breakers.

The major problem with these women and most of us in society (men and women) is that we are programmed to think that not being in a relationship automatically means your lonely.  Not realizing being by yourself spending quality time with yourself is the best way to deal with yourself.  Then you can really figure out who you are, what you want from yourself as well as your intended partner. Then you'll know your deal breakers, etc. 

In the end you will be happier knowing your not going to be fighting about the same things for the next 50 years.