Thursday, March 11, 2010

WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN

I know for many of us trust is a huge issue.  By the time we've graduated college, many of life's issues and problems have stripped away the innocense that we once had.  There was a point in our childhood we had unshakeable belief that things will work out.  We had to believe that, even when they looked bad, it was somehow innate.  So really what happened?  What changed?  I have to ask myself that.  Where is that childlike faith that kept me going? 

Too often we are still holding on the things that are holding us back and we dont even realize it.  It affects our work, relationships, ministry, just our everyday psyche and its unhealthy.  I feel like we should challenge ourselves to take inventory of all the negative things that occured to us and evaluate have we really gotten past it.  You think you have but what your reaction when certain topics in conversations arrise, or when you get into an argument listen to the arguments you display. It reflects a lot about what are harboring on the inside.

My theme scripture this year has been Mark 9:24, " Lord I believe, help my unbelief." I keep holding on to that scripture because as much as I believe God there are times when my faith waivers.  I know that's natural but I have to fight that feeling that comes.  The bible says in Mathew 13, 17, and Luke 17 if you have faith as a mustard seed, then great things you will accomplish.  So I am working on nuturing my faith.  The funny thing is I've experienced God on so many levels, pulling me out of one distrastrous situation to the next but when things are dormant and I feel unsure I start to panic.

So far since the end of 2009, crazy things have been occuring and I believe God has been clearing my schedule something serious.  I now see that all the so called "free time" I have which really isnt free at all cause I'm still super busy has given me the opportunity to spend more time seeking him and exploring what I really need to do with my life.  This takes some major trust cause now I really have to depend on Jehovah Jireh.  Think of Peter when he walked on water, completely had faith in Jesus but when he lost focus he starting drowning and Jesus said simply "Oh you of little faith".  Throughout the book of Mathew Jesus commended people for their immoveable faith.   I know that's where I need to be.  I'm coming to God humble, with my arms wide open willing to accept whatever he has in store for me.  I wont worry but I will be obedient.