Mirror Mirror

So this Sunday, I had a HUGE reality check.  SOMETIMES AND I USE THIS WORD WISELY! SOMETIMES the very thing we see that needs to be worked on in others is the very thing we need to work on ourselves.  And I say sometimes cause it's not true for every scenario and some people just need to be told about themselves.  But for me this def applies this time, so here goes......

 I was giving an individual a ride home, someone I am very close to and love dearly and the topic came up about the person's temper.  Now I myself can be a little hot headed from time to time so who better to give this speech than me, right! Right! (cue sarcasm).  Well anyway I brought up the topic out of concern because I don't want to see anything bad happen to this individual, i.e. a drive by or jail because of an irrational or spontaneous decision in a situation that could possibly be avoided.  As I was giving my speech I couldn't help but feel like I wasn't being taken seriously and although I know this person pretty well and i know they listen to me when i speak somehow between the jokes they were cracking and my moodyness I couldn't shake the fact that they were not taking me seriously.  So in the interim I made a comment about them not always thinking straight and in turn they spoke and said something that completely caught me off guard.  Now I didnt take it as rude or disrespectful but i did take it as sarcasm so me being me I rebutted.  However my rebutt didnt really go over smoothly. 

After my rebuttle things went downhill, our emotions kinda spiraled and my irrational decision to force my car into park while in motion and grinding down my gears to prove a point was just not smart.  Exhibit A.  Then at the request of my loved one to pull over, I refused, not because I was pissed but because i just didnt see a neccessity for it when i was literally two blocks from their house. I'll stop when I'm good and ready to and we can talk then (MY Mentality).  By then their emotions had spiralled and their funky mood had transpired.  Exhibit B.  Now all of this could've been avoided had I thought things through and chosen to respond in a different way and the same rule applies to them.  The same thing I was preaching about was the very same thing I needed to work on. And the funny things is I didnt get my reality check until i heard my gears grinding away.  God was like Asha your destroying your car and for what and I was like WTC and immediatley i adjusted my thinking and my attitude and was convicted. Well not immediately, it took me about  5 to 10 minutes but the conviction came and I knew where I was in the wrong and this could've been defused as lot sooner.  Funny how scripture comes back to you in the most opportune times. 

The word says in Mathew 7:1-5
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

Now dont get me wrong in no way shape or form did i fell as if I were better than this individual but I did come to realize that I have something to work on as well.  Today after all the air was cleared my loved one pulled my card and said so "who really is the one with the temper problem? It's really you?"  In my mind, I was like wow what a slap in the face.  Thanks God. That conversation that I had in the car, I might as well have been talking to myself in the mirror.  I was staring at the very image of me, and just like the person you defend yourself, it's not so bad, your overreacting, i have it under control,  But the question is "Do you really have it under control?" "Do I really?"  It's so funny, how many times are we ministering to others about situations in their lives (whether we are asked to or not) and God uses that situation to minister to us.  We end up ministering to ourselves.  However messy the situation panned out, I thank God for it cause my eyes were opened and I can only go up and grow from here. I am also glad he placed people in my life who are understanding, forgiving, and filled with unconditional love. 

I know one thing though, he's brought me from a mighty long way, and any one who truly knows me can attest to the change the holy spirit has made within me thus far.  I'm not perfect but I'm striving for perfection and it all starts with LOVE!